Castiel: Matchmaker?
by breek
Summary: Story told from Castiel's POV. Castiel may be rough around the edges, but he truly cares for his friends and wants them to be happy. Lysander x Candy
1. Chapter 1

"Well it just makes sense if you ask me. Frankly, I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did. Guess Nathaniel finally woke up and realized they were a poor fit."

I close my locker harder than needed, interrupting Melody's conversation with one of her friends, "And yet I still don't see the Prez knocking your door down asking for a date, Melody. Why is that?"

Melody's face colors, first in embarrassment and then in anger, "I was having a private discussion, Castiel."

"Yeah? Well then maybe you shouldn't have it in the middle of a crowded hallway. " I leave before Nathaniel's number one stalker has a chance to retort.

Before I fully realize what I'm doing, I make my way to the stairwell leading to the roof. I'm on a mission to find one possibly depressed little girl. Stepping out onto the roof, I quickly spot a figure sitting near the edge. "Should I be calling some crisis hotline to help you work out your angsty, teenage bullshit? Or are you good?"

Candy scoffs before turning her head to look at me, "Says the guy who was at the center of the Deborah debacle." I see Candy abruptly stop and bite her lip, "Sorry. That was a bit of a low blow."

I cock an eyebrow in response, "I'll allow it this time, but just remember how easy it would be for me to push your ass off of here." Without being invited, I plop down next to her. Giving her my most devilish smirk, "So, how bad is it? Do you need me to kick his ass? You know I'm willing to do it, even more so if it's for a good cause."

Not meeting my eyes, she gives a little shrug, "I'm not too broken up about it. I just came up here because I didn't want to deal with the gossip and the sympathetic looks thrown my way. Sorry to invade your spot, Castiel."

Knocking her shoulder slightly with my own, I reply, "I wouldn't have shown you if you were never allowed." That earns me a small smile from her.

Candy starts picking at imaginary lint on her pants before asking, "How did you hear about it?"

"Lysander told me." What I don't tell her is how over the freaking moon my best friend is about the situation. Evidently Nathaniel broke it off with Candy on Friday right after school, and a few hours later, my best friend started blowing up my phone with texts asking what he should do. Seriously? He didn't like my answer of, 'grow a pair and ask her out.' Ok, fine, I agree he probably shouldn't ask her out right away, but I'm hoping he hurries up and makes a move so I no longer have to deal with a moping lead singer. Honestly, I think I'm going to hurl if I have play another one of his ballads about unrequited love.

Candy nods, "I should have known he'd know. Rosa mentioned she was with Leigh when I called her." Big surprise that Rosa would let Lys know, seeing as she is a big Candy x Lysander shipper. Candy lets out an annoyed huff, "I'm fine. Really. Honestly, I'm more mad than anything." I face her fully and wait for her to vent. "Do you know how he ended it?" I shake my head no and wait for her to elaborate. "He called me into the student council room after classes. I kid you not, he had charts and lists about why we should end things. It's like he prepared a school project about our relationship. I half expected one of the teachers to walk in afterwards and give him a grade."

There's no helping it, I'm laughing, "Damn. That is seriously messed up."

Looking at me with big eyes, Candy continues, "I know, right?! I mean, even I knew we weren't really working out, but the way he did it…"

"Are you sure you don't want me to kick his ass?"

"Thanks, but no thanks. It might be petty of me, but if anything, I would rather he be hurt more emotionally than physically. Maybe then he would understand you shouldn't dump someone through a powerpoint."

I'm laughing again, "Did you really expect more from that idiot?"

Judging by the narrowed glare, I'm guessing she is annoyed with me. "I'm so happy that my breakup is such a source of amusement for you."

"Oh come on! It's freaking Nathaniel. I've always thought you could do better than that chump." After I get my laughter under control, I jokingly leer at Candy, "You know, if you really want to get back at him, we could always hook up. I could take your panties afterwards and shove them in his face."

I totally deserve the slap she gives my arm. I can almost feel the heat radiating off of her blush, "Don't be gross! Besides, as you said, 'it's freaking Nathaniel'. Trust me, the boy wouldn't even know they were mine."

"Even with his own apartment, Blondie couldn't seal the deal? Why am I not surprised?"

There's that glare again, "Not that that's any of your business." My mental image of Lysander is practically fist pumping the air after this nugget of information. "Anyway," she continues, "I heard if you really want to mess with your ex, you should sleep with their best friend. "

"Who would that even be?" I cock my head to the side and think, "Armin?"

"I suppose." Her smile starts crinkling her eyes, "But I can't see me giving Armin my V card."

"He'd probably ask you where he is supposed to plug in his controller." Her laugh is damn melodious. Before Deborah reared her ugly head again, I toyed with the idea of Candy and me. It was during that time, when Lysander was running around making sure her friends apologized, that I realized how badly my friend had it for the girl. Not to mention, I was acting like a dick towards Candy. It was obvious that Lysander was better boyfriend material for the girl.

"Maybe afterwards, he'd want us to do a speedrun!"

"Lucky you," I exclaim.

"If only I could get past the smell of Cheetos and Mountain Dew." She's bent over, giggling, "I really shouldn't be talking about Armin like this. He's my friend too."

"Eh," I shrug, "He'd know you're only joking."

The bell signaling the end of lunch period rings. Candy smiles and leans in and gives me a side hug, "Thanks, Castiel. I really needed this."

"Don't mention it, Little Girl."

I wait for Candy to leave before I pull my cell from my pocket and send Lysander a message to meet me after school.


	2. Chapter 2

Lysander's staring out the window of the local burger joint with a slight blush, "I feel like it shouldn't matter whether or not Candy slept with Nathaniel." Lysander grabs a fry but doesn't bring it to his mouth, "It's her body, she should decide what to do with it. It doesn't change how I feel about her."

I roll my eyes and take a bite of my burger, "Dude, I'm all for feminism and a woman's rights, but don't pretend you aren't thrilled Nathaniel never nailed her." The fry Lysander was holding is now in my hair. I'm trying to help him with his Candy situation, and the asshole throws his food at me. I pull the fry from my hair and make a show of eating it. "Nobody likes the idea of their crush banging somebody else."

Lysander crosses his arms and looks at me head on, "Castiel, I'm not certain what it is you expect me to do with this information."

"Look," I reach over and steal one of his fries, "If she never slept with the guy, she probably wasn't too serious about him. She seemed more pissed off than sad about the breakup. Which to me means she's probably going to get over it quickly. Therefore, you can ask her out soon. You follow?"

Breaking our eye contact, Lysander looks at his tray, "I doubt she likes me like that. If guys like Nathaniel are her type, what chance do I have?"

I reach across the table, grab a handful of his fries, and throw them at him. He looks up sharply. "Seriously, Lys? What the hell, man? Did your accident leave you with permanent brain damage?" Lys looks offended and I almost feel guilty enough to apologize. Almost. "I refuse to sit by and allow you to miss your chance with her again. She's cool and I'm sure she won't be single for long. Hell, that military pipsqueak looked pretty pleased all day. Everyone knows he's got a massive hard on for her. "

Lysander stabs a fry into his ketchup, "I suppose you're right. I'm simply worried that the pain of rejection will be worse than the fear of never knowing."

"Going by the looks I've seen her sneak you when she's watched us perform, I doubt she'll reject you. But if she does, I promise to let you write as many cry baby ballads as you want. Deal?"

Lysander cracks a small smile, "Deal."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm packing up our sound equipment when Rosayla comes huffing up to me, "Ugh, I'm about to lock those two in a closet if they don't hurry up and get together. This is so frustrating!"

It's been about two months since Candy became single. By the way Candy is currently giggling and touching Lysander's arm, I'd say she's totally over the Nathaniel situation. "Tell me about it. I'm about to show Candy the notebook that has poetry explicitly about her if Lys doesn't make a move soon."

Rosa's eyes widen and she jumps up and down in excitement, "Are you serious?! What's it look like? Do you know where he keeps it?"

Shit. I shouldn't have said anything. The only reason I even know about it is because Lys had left it open on his desk in his room once. Let's just say that that Kentin dweeb clearly isn't the only one who thinks about Candy naked. "Stop. Lysander would kill me if he knew I said anything." I'll admit the thought of a pissed off Lysander scares me.

"You're no fun," Rosa pouts. "Anyway, we need to think of something to get them to confess."

"Hey, Lysander!" I stand up and brush dirt off my knees. Making sure both Lysander and Candy are looking at me, I sneer, "Either ask her out, or get your ass over here and help me with this equipment." I feel three sets of eyes glaring at me. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

"Smooth, Cas. Real smooth." Rosa grumbles at my side. The spastic fashionista bounces off towards Candy.

Lysander embarrassedly apologizes to Candy for my behavior before finally coming over to help. "Was that really necessary?" he asks quietly.

"Help me load all of this into the car, and yes. Yes, it was. Make a move all ready. I can't take much more of you two swooning over each other. It's gross."

After packing up my car, Lysander leans against the bumper. "I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"Give me your phone!" I demand, holding my hand out. Lysander gives me a wary look before placing his cell in my hand. I quickly open a new text to Candy.

"What are you writing?" My friend nervously asks.

After composing my masterpiece, I read it off to him, "My dearest Candy. You've been in my spank bank for much too long. Release me from my misery and agree to be mine. I promise to write you shitty, fluffy poetry and go balls deep whenever you want. XOXO Lys." I don't think Lysander's different colored eyes can widen anymore if he tried. Like an idiot, my white haired friend scrambles to take his phone back, and in doing so inadvertently hits the send button.

We're both silent for a brief moment, before I'm laughing hysterically. I'm bent over, clutching my sides while Lys is as still as a statue next to me. Suddenly, Lysander shoves me, "Damn it, Castiel!"

I quickly back up and raise my hands up in a placating manner, "Chill! She'll know it wasn't you." Lysander's cell dings, but he looks too freaked out to read it. I attempt to grab his phone back, "That's probably her. Let me see."

Lysander defensively pulls his phone to his chest, "No! You've lost your privileges."

"Whatever, man. What's it say?"

Audibly swallowing, my pathetic best friend hesitantly glances at his phone and sighs in relief, "'Very funny, Castiel! Give Lysander his phone back.'"

"See, I told you she'd know. Lighten up."

Lysander shoves me again, only lighter this time. "That still wasn't funny." Lys walks a few steps away and, I assume, starts texting Candy a million apologies.

"No," I say getting into my car, "It was hilarious!"


	4. Chapter 4

It's a sunny Sunday and I'm walking into town to buy more food for Demon. As I pass the Café, I spot Kentin and Armin sitting outside. Kentin looks more jittery than usual and I can smell the axe body spray from here. Damn, what did he do, drink it? I overhear Kentin say, "Alright, I should head over to the park soon. Candy should be there any minute."

Armin doesn't look away from his game as he gives Kentin a brief thumbs up, "Good luck, man."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I pull my phone out and text Lysander, essentially telling him to get his ass over to the park asap unless he wants to see Candy and Kentin wearing matching dog tags.

I change directions and quickly head through the park towards Candy's place, hoping to get to her before Kentin. Luckily, Candy is easy to find sitting on a bench. "What are you doing, Little Girl?" I ask somewhat accusingly, with my arms folded across my chest.

Candy looks taken aback, "Uhhh…Kentin asked me to meet him here." She checks the time on her phone. "He should be here any minute." She looks up at me, "What about you?"

"Do you like Kentin?" Wow, looks like I'm just diving in.

"Wh-what?" Clearly she is shocked by my abrupt question. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Why are you meeting that guy?" I counter.

"He texted me and asked if we could talk. I don't know what about."

"Really? Are you really that dense?"

Candy is looking at me with hurt eyes. Damn it, where the hell is Lysander? "What the hell is your problem, Castiel?"

A new voice interrupts, "Is everything all right, Candy?" Great. Military brat is right on time.

I know this wuss is scared of me, so I turn and rise to my full height, "Back off and give us a minute."

"I-I wasn't talking to you! I was asking, Candy." I can practically hear Kentin's knees rattling against each other.

"Why don't you go play on the swings and allow the grownups to finish talking?" I sneer. Kentin's clenching his fist repeatedly and getting all huffy. Please. I would wipe the floor with this punk, I don't care how many push ups he does.

Candy jumps between us, "Calm down, guys. Castiel: stop being a jerk. Kentin: could you please give us a minute?"

Kentin sulks away before Candy whirls back towards me, "Mind telling me what the hell is going on?"

"I'm fairly certain that dumbass is about to ask you out." Candy looks shocked at this. "So, again, do you like Kentin? 'Cause if you do, I'll shut up and walk away right now. But honestly, I know you can do better."

She suddenly seems on guard, "Who-who do you have in mind?"

Why is she looking at me like that? A mixture of dread and pity. Oh. Oh shit! "No! Not me!" I practically shout. I should probably be offended by how relieved she suddenly looks. "A certain singer we both know is going to be hurt if you say 'sir, yes sir!' to military school over there."

There she goes, blushing and not making eye contact. Digging her toe into the dirt, she asks me, "Do-do you really think Lysander likes me?"

Maybe Rosalya was right. We should just lock these two in a closet. Luckily, before I can respond, a slightly disheveled Lysander arrives at the park entrance. "I'm going to let him handle that explanation." I flag down Lysander. With the way the two of them are looking at each other, it's clear I've stepped into the role of the third wheel. I pat Lysander on his shoulder, "Alright, well I've done all the damage I think I can for a bit. I'm going to head out." Neither of them even acknowledges me leaving.

Kentin is standing near the playground equipment, watching Candy and Lysander closely. "Sorry, man" I saddle up to him and smirk. "Looks like you don't have chance." Kentin calls me an asshole and stomps out of the park. Whatever. He should probably thank me for saving him the embarrassment of being rejected in a public place.

I'm almost out of the park when my curiosity gets the better of me. I sneak a look back towards the bench I left Candy and Lysander at. My face splits into a grin as I see my best friend finally kissing the girl he's been pining away for. About freaking time. I text Candy, "Don't forget to use protection."

I'm heading towards the pet store when I receive her very original reply of, "Shut up!" Hopefully being with Lysander will expand her vocabulary.

It's Monday and I'm standing on the roof of the school again. I hear the door open and a feminine voice ask, "Castiel?"

I smirk, "What's up, Little Girl? I'm surprised you managed to detach yourself from Lysander."

Smiling, she shyly pushes some hair behind her ear. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday." Next thing I know, I'm pulled into a bear hug. "You're a great friend, Cas!"

Fuck, I can tell my face probably matches my hair, "Jeez, Ironing Board, at least stuff your bra next time you try to hug me. Give my imagination something to work with."

She pushes me away from her and playfully swats at me, "You butthead!"

"Seriously though, I am happy for you two. Just remember, if you hurt my friend, I'm tossing your scrawny ass off of this roof."

"I'll do my best to never earn your wrath. I promise," she smiles.

"Although," I step into her personal space and whisper into her ear, "if he ever hurts you, I recall you suggesting sleeping with an ex's best friend as appropriate revenge." I don't even need to look at her to know she is blushing from her head to her toes.

I'm halfway out the door when she finally snaps out of it and yells, "Castiel! You Perv!" I'm certain she can hear my laughter echoing in the stairwell.

 **The End**


End file.
